"i wonder why god want to make me lost u in the middle of ppl sea, mayb he wan me to learn how much u mean for me."
recenly, i have been thinking deeply on my future, but it show me of no where...once close my eye, nothing appear except black and blur vision, nothing, but just an unclear path way, leading to no where, i wonder...
well, instead spending time wondering, why not use it properly, girls, wake up~He told me that life is not keep stuborn on a lost thing, how memorial and meaningful to me; but appreciate now.See, he always said something so logical, so not sentimental and feelingless word. who doesnt understand now is everything? the thing lost is lost, so make the life or thing now better, improve it. sometime make me so tiredsome, working so hard alone, you can see he just standing there looking elsewhere afford for nothing.
His life like around on his own; my life like moon, around on him. hate myself being like this. i want myself back!!! self centre Pang wen shan
i use to be self centre, before starting with him. but now seem like everything is related to him. simply dun like this kind of feeling. stop acting like a moon. try be the sun, light the future for everyone, make everyone around you,especailly the earch, turn and round because of you.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Sunday, October 28, 2007
what is your strength?
today is kinda tired day for me, entre the second day of degree plus plus " how to make yourself employe"...well, as in the mock interview, d interviewer said i am good enough and able to get a job among them, hahaha, i thin this is the first happy thng for me today...
Well, fren kinda more can rely on den a boy friend...but cannot complain muc la, how said he also go own thing to busy...but, unable to comfort is one of the weakneses i think.Just now i kx, what is the goodness of 4c? haih..me kind of very lauzy girl friend, need to know his strength from other mouth...
may b the weaknesses is the surface thing, so we tend to complaint it much. Rather den the goodness itself, because it kinda so inside thing, ha
But i now cannot see the future, career and other, seem like so blur and so so not clear
Well, fren kinda more can rely on den a boy friend...but cannot complain muc la, how said he also go own thing to busy...but, unable to comfort is one of the weakneses i think.Just now i kx, what is the goodness of 4c? haih..me kind of very lauzy girl friend, need to know his strength from other mouth...
may b the weaknesses is the surface thing, so we tend to complaint it much. Rather den the goodness itself, because it kinda so inside thing, ha
But i now cannot see the future, career and other, seem like so blur and so so not clear
Friday, October 26, 2007
white dot and a paper
well...another the day of today...ya ya ya...just finish chapter two, just need some editing will do,but i not so satisfy with it. change? sorry, no energy d.
last last night listen, got a story telling.
a teacher showing the student a piece of white paper, with a dot of black ink in the middle.she ask:"what that you all can see?"...the students answer:" a black dot."...the teacher said:" didn't you all see a big white paper?"
After ward, the teacher hand out a piece of black paper, now, with the white dot in the middle.She ask again:"hat did you all can see?"...the student answer again:"a white dot."....
haha, u sure not understand what my story is all about leh..kindly is for simple with abit clever person only will catch my point...
Just like our life, is very simple. White dot mean happy, mean joy, mean cheers.when you are in hapiness, your eye just will look at the thing that make you happy.So, is easy for us. If we not simply stubborn on a black point, then we will feel the happiness, focusing on a tiny white dot in the middle, ignoring a piece of black paper.
i think i need to just focusing on " deeply in me got a small tiny2 part will miss you also", rather in remembering "altot i duno why u not hapi with me"(but kinda hard ma, why i can forgive a do false ppl without getting a sorry?...haih,,,do wrong duno own do wrong, that is the point)
last last night listen, got a story telling.
a teacher showing the student a piece of white paper, with a dot of black ink in the middle.she ask:"what that you all can see?"...the students answer:" a black dot."...the teacher said:" didn't you all see a big white paper?"
After ward, the teacher hand out a piece of black paper, now, with the white dot in the middle.She ask again:"hat did you all can see?"...the student answer again:"a white dot."....
haha, u sure not understand what my story is all about leh..kindly is for simple with abit clever person only will catch my point...
Just like our life, is very simple. White dot mean happy, mean joy, mean cheers.when you are in hapiness, your eye just will look at the thing that make you happy.So, is easy for us. If we not simply stubborn on a black point, then we will feel the happiness, focusing on a tiny white dot in the middle, ignoring a piece of black paper.
i think i need to just focusing on " deeply in me got a small tiny2 part will miss you also", rather in remembering "altot i duno why u not hapi with me"(but kinda hard ma, why i can forgive a do false ppl without getting a sorry?...haih,,,do wrong duno own do wrong, that is the point)
Monday, October 22, 2007
chanc+es??
1) coming back from raya break...ha, this morning lec show our previos assignment in class, he pick some that he think is good, got mine inside i think, but alot of grammer mistake i did. ha, cause i did it in a hurry...but yet it consider good, so i think i will do quiet good enough if i had better preparation, just like usual, i always has the ability to make thing better, haha...
wana share something, regard what i had read. it said "last time, had so many people but little chance; but now, each person offer to alot of oppurtunity, just they cannot see it and feel it, and make it just fly away like tat" and another person, if i not mistaken is Helen Keller, said something similar like this " Door of hapiness always open, but we usually took alot of time looking at the sad one that had close, and not discover that another new hapiness door had open, just beside"...
hmm...this make me feel that i had miss alot of chances, sound just like me, i took times to suit myself to the situation, that actually that can self-heal in a short time, ha, i such a waste time person, ho?
well, actually i am now kinda wasting time, for my life, i mean actually i can use it much more better in preparation on my thesis, assign, life planning and all that kinda "future plan"...but sometime just feel so moodless and blue and lazy and duolou and meanless to do so...ha, i really waste time person nia.
2) wish u good luck ya lgc in ur presentation, i hope u can do it very well, so that reward a cold yogurt for u to build muscle as what u said, haha.( act yogurt can build muscle 1 meh?)
but since ur hand pain, dun drink too much icy drink. cz i found out that icy drink make muscle ache more, take longer time to recover. and once over do, hand muscle will tare off, den will hurt, take longer more time to heal. not conveniece enough my talking? search on net urself ya...heee heee
wana share something, regard what i had read. it said "last time, had so many people but little chance; but now, each person offer to alot of oppurtunity, just they cannot see it and feel it, and make it just fly away like tat" and another person, if i not mistaken is Helen Keller, said something similar like this " Door of hapiness always open, but we usually took alot of time looking at the sad one that had close, and not discover that another new hapiness door had open, just beside"...
hmm...this make me feel that i had miss alot of chances, sound just like me, i took times to suit myself to the situation, that actually that can self-heal in a short time, ha, i such a waste time person, ho?
well, actually i am now kinda wasting time, for my life, i mean actually i can use it much more better in preparation on my thesis, assign, life planning and all that kinda "future plan"...but sometime just feel so moodless and blue and lazy and duolou and meanless to do so...ha, i really waste time person nia.
2) wish u good luck ya lgc in ur presentation, i hope u can do it very well, so that reward a cold yogurt for u to build muscle as what u said, haha.( act yogurt can build muscle 1 meh?)
but since ur hand pain, dun drink too much icy drink. cz i found out that icy drink make muscle ache more, take longer time to recover. and once over do, hand muscle will tare off, den will hurt, take longer more time to heal. not conveniece enough my talking? search on net urself ya...heee heee
Thursday, October 04, 2007
shall i rest? 0.o
Yesterdat spending 2 hour typing for my thesis, the results was i nearly fight 2 page for that...sound proud of myself but actually wasting of time...but i manage to feel something like, i m back or i finally can blurly find my track of the day...haha
and i discover something meaningfull and not pointless words, that actually make myself proud:
Besides, a friend so down cause all the thing not happend acording to plan...everyone not like that to happend. Since we like to wonder of " if one day xxx will happend?", wondering for tomorrow is never end, so why not use the time doing something that usefull or at least can make own feel better, rather than wasting time wondering? Future cannot predict, because it is too much uncertainty.
I use to plan my time and life, but discover that everytime suffer disappointed when thing not happend acording to what i plan. i told myself i am expecting too much.So now, i not like to plan, even planning for me, is just a roughly plan. A simple and not detail plan can make me feel better in dealing with uncertainty if the thing not happend like what i plan. So, i choose to become flexible and linear, like teacher said when in school, plastic ruler is flexible, can bend the shape when you need...
And i recover that i become more and more selfish, and centralize. i use to be a good and nice and helpfull person, offer anything they want, without caring is tat hurting me or not? But i discover that this is a world full of alot of mankind. be a nice person, doesn't mean that people will appreciate.instead, they trying to misunderstand all the thing in negetive way.backstap me.what are their brain make from??so instead, i becom more selfish person, and centralize, and self defent. To protect myself to be harm from other. I can do thing own, you do yours. as long as u do in your area, just don't over area until my space. so i will let you alone, and just live me alone.
and i discover something meaningfull and not pointless words, that actually make myself proud:
Morning is God Way of Saying:
One more time, Live Life.
Make a Different,
Touch One heart.
Encourange One Mind,
Inspire One Soul.
But Night is LPQ Way of Saying:
Dark is Coming,
Doesn't let life stop.
Is time to have a GOOD REST,
So can fight for better morning!
Ha Ha Ha!!!
Besides, a friend so down cause all the thing not happend acording to plan...everyone not like that to happend. Since we like to wonder of " if one day xxx will happend?", wondering for tomorrow is never end, so why not use the time doing something that usefull or at least can make own feel better, rather than wasting time wondering? Future cannot predict, because it is too much uncertainty.
I use to plan my time and life, but discover that everytime suffer disappointed when thing not happend acording to what i plan. i told myself i am expecting too much.So now, i not like to plan, even planning for me, is just a roughly plan. A simple and not detail plan can make me feel better in dealing with uncertainty if the thing not happend like what i plan. So, i choose to become flexible and linear, like teacher said when in school, plastic ruler is flexible, can bend the shape when you need...
And i recover that i become more and more selfish, and centralize. i use to be a good and nice and helpfull person, offer anything they want, without caring is tat hurting me or not? But i discover that this is a world full of alot of mankind. be a nice person, doesn't mean that people will appreciate.instead, they trying to misunderstand all the thing in negetive way.backstap me.what are their brain make from??so instead, i becom more selfish person, and centralize, and self defent. To protect myself to be harm from other. I can do thing own, you do yours. as long as u do in your area, just don't over area until my space. so i will let you alone, and just live me alone.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
utm vote meh today? yalo ho...
today vote??!!??? yalo ho, i forget d.but not mind la, not care also, i m not tat kind so hardworking no class also go fak to tick on a piece of paper, haha.
yesterday i totally get 3 gift, so unexpected, i calling them "gift fall from the sky, raya, fake care"
1st, gift from the sky is i get a model of mercedes benz call "CLK-Klasse Coupe", i not so sure about how much it cost, but lgc said it cost not less. why is from sky? because i not expect to get it although, ha, until cm said i can go n claim, lucky...
2nd, i get a pretty decorative ketupat from the buka puasa dinner with cm and lec, fatti get for me cz i too short d,haha, so, i m a chinese, i somemore get raya gift ( i consider raya gift), nice nice...
3rd, while i busying and finally have the mood to fight for my thesis, cm call said to have celebrateion, i feel like so @#$%^*, make me walk double line, why is fake care? because they will celebrate as somekind of normal event of ourselve each month, but thanks them too, i must learn to appreciate, althogh just a fake care.haha
although i still not start doing my thesis yet, but i very gao liao today...i wash cloth instead of diarhoea,haha. but along the way back to room from the washing room, i m thiking something...when he in LI, am i already start working? if so, if he is far along from me and we not going to see each other for months...did it mean a long distance relationship??? nah, nex year stuff, nex year only start worry...
i create a new slogan for myself today " blue fish, be a caring and strong, instead a burden person ; be a hard working, instead hard 2 work person", wah...like what da bao said, although sometime or everytime i said pointless thing, but i still can voice out very deep and meaningful thing, haha.
yesterday i totally get 3 gift, so unexpected, i calling them "gift fall from the sky, raya, fake care"
1st, gift from the sky is i get a model of mercedes benz call "CLK-Klasse Coupe", i not so sure about how much it cost, but lgc said it cost not less. why is from sky? because i not expect to get it although, ha, until cm said i can go n claim, lucky...
2nd, i get a pretty decorative ketupat from the buka puasa dinner with cm and lec, fatti get for me cz i too short d,haha, so, i m a chinese, i somemore get raya gift ( i consider raya gift), nice nice...
3rd, while i busying and finally have the mood to fight for my thesis, cm call said to have celebrateion, i feel like so @#$%^*, make me walk double line, why is fake care? because they will celebrate as somekind of normal event of ourselve each month, but thanks them too, i must learn to appreciate, althogh just a fake care.haha
although i still not start doing my thesis yet, but i very gao liao today...i wash cloth instead of diarhoea,haha. but along the way back to room from the washing room, i m thiking something...when he in LI, am i already start working? if so, if he is far along from me and we not going to see each other for months...did it mean a long distance relationship??? nah, nex year stuff, nex year only start worry...
i create a new slogan for myself today " blue fish, be a caring and strong, instead a burden person ; be a hard working, instead hard 2 work person", wah...like what da bao said, although sometime or everytime i said pointless thing, but i still can voice out very deep and meaningful thing, haha.
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